


Banishment 101

by siltscribe



Category: Oakpodcast (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 16:34:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12062871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siltscribe/pseuds/siltscribe
Summary: Short drabble style fic based on a Tumblr text post. Enjoy!





	Banishment 101

**Author's Note:**

> So this is based on an actual, existing place! If you're in Alabama, you can find them here. 
> 
> http://bookbeancandle.com/
> 
> I saw it had coffee and crystals, and knew Holly had to go.

“Wait a minute. We came all the way here for _rocks?”_

Holly sighed, slowly getting herself out of the car. It's not like it was even that far. I mean, an hour might seem like a lot, but in the grand scheme of things, is it really?

And the place was gorgeous. Lush vines with pink flowers crawled across the face of the building, and a yellow sign displaying the shops name poked through the foliage. Several stone steps led the way up to the door, which looked as inviting as something advertised as an occult shop could.

Her back to…. well, whatever his name was; Holly made no attempt to hide her eye roll, as she followed him into the shop. The guy was attractive enough, but good grief, he liked to hear himself talk.

They'd met at McDonald’s, of all places. He'd used some line, and bought her chicken nuggets. Holly wasn’t exactly in a position to turn down free food at the moment. He also was decently attractive, had a car, and seemed interested in her. She wasn't really interested in him; or anyone, but figured it couldn't hurt to squeeze a few dates out of him. Dates meant meals, and lately those had been in short supply.

It hadn't gone horrible; per se, but he was fond of hearing himself talk. Come to think of it, he was fond of _everything_ about himself. To no end, it seemed. Nevertheless, she had heard people talking about this place, and didn't want to pass up the chance to try it. Especially when she looked them up online and realized it sold both crystals _and_ coffee. How much more perfect could a place be?

She turned around, and shot him a glare. What was his name again? Chad? Jason? No, neither. Brad? Shit. No, nothing so, frat-like. Oh! Peter. That was it.

Stalling, she drummed her fingers against her hip, hoping she looked half as impatient as she felt.

“Yeah, we came all this way for rocks. Is that a problem?”

“Eh. Apparently not, but uh…” His voice trailed off as he bent over and picked up a silver chain with a smooth black rock at the end of it. “You may want to hurry up and pick out your rocks before this broad here—” He gestured to the cashier— “puts some sort of voodoo curse on you. Or, whatever it is this thing does.”

He swirled the pendulum in front of Holly's face, making what she could only assume were meant to be “curse noises.” In reality? They were a lot more like seasick ghost noises, but he didn't seem the type to take constructive criticism.

“Actually sir,” the girl behind the counter began, “no one here actually practices voodoo.”

When she was met with blank stares from the couple, she seemed to stumble over her words as she continued. “Not, of course, that there's anything wrong with voodoo, but there's that whole ‘closed practice’ thing, and I mean, here I am white as a sheet, so naturally—”

Holly held up her hand, shaking her head apologetically. “I'm sorry, but he really doesn't care.” Turning to Peter, she raised an eyebrow. “Why don't I play with the rocks, and you go grab us some coffees. Then we can go. Okay?”

He let go of the pendulum, letting it unceremoniously crash down onto the tray, scattering the pendulums. “Thought you'd never ask. Be back in a bit.”

“Just a red eye for me! Nothing crazy!” Holly rolled her eyes at his back as he waved her off.

(Surely he couldn't fuck up coffee, right?)

Holly turned to the cashier. “I'm sorry. He just…”

The woman behind the counter waved her off. “Don't worry about it. It happens. Have you two been dating long?”

“What?!” Holly blurted out, not sure if she found it more funny or horrifying. “Uh…no. Not even close.. We’ve had maybe two dates. He's... uh…”

“An ass?”

Holly giggled, pointing her finger at the shopkeeper. “You said it. Miss…?”

“Jane. And don't worry about it. He's hardly the worst type of customer we get in here . As I'm sure you can imagine.”

Holly could, in fact. It didn't take much imagination to think of the type of negative attention a “magic shop” could attract. Nodding, she started to kneel down to pick up a few of the scattered stones, when Jane hurried around the counter.

“Oh no. You aren't in any condition to be bending over like that. I've got it. Besides, it's not your fault your…. _friend_ is an ass.”

“If you're sure. I... don't suppose you have any fancy herbs or rocks in here that make people go away, do you?”

“Banishment?” Jane snorted, moving back behind the counter . “Tons, actually. You'd be surprised. Though, sometimes, simply saying ‘Fuck you’ is effective enough.” She winked at Holly as she sat the box of pendulums in its new spot on the safer side of the counter. “And much more satisfying.”

The two shared a laugh, and Holly relaxed. She was relieved the woman didn't seem to be too concerned about Peter’s attitude, or Holly’s own skepticism. In truth, Jane seemed more laid back than Holly would have expected someone in this style of shop to be. She could have just as well been someone who worked in the local bookstore, or a bartender at one of the places Holly and Oak used to frequent.

“Coffee is served.”

Peter sidled up next to Holly and handed her one of two matching paper cups he carried with him.

“Oh, thank you.” Holly took the coffee, cupping both hands around the cup. She frowned at the temperature—warm, but not as hot as a straight black coffee should have been. Chalking it up to a neglectful barista, she lifted the cup to her lips and took a sip.

It didn't take long for her to figure out that no, the barista hadn't messed up. This was not her typical order of black coffee. It was something much sweeter and creamier than that. It didn't taste bad, per se… but calling it coffee would be generous.

Choking, Holly immediately spit it back bro the cup, slamming it down onto the counter. Some sloshed out, but she ignored it. Turning her head to Peter, she spoke very deliberately.

“What is this?”

Seemingly oblivious, Peter took another swig of his drink before answering. “It's a caramel macchiato, but with half shots and extra drizzle. I know you said you just wanted a buckeye, blackeye, whatever. But trust me. You’re going to love this. Besides, you really don't need the caffeine, do you?”

Holly seethed. Of course he'd ordered her what he thought she wanted. Why did she ever expect to get what she wanted and asked for?! Why was the world so full of men determined to make her miserable under the guise of “doing what was best for her”?!

Holly closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and exhaled very slowly, before forcing another drink of the sugary concoction down. It really wasn't that bad, and there was at least one shot of espresso in it… and after all, she still needed a ride back to the VA clinic for her doctor’s appointment.

“You're right. It's.. ah… it's not my favorite, but you know, I think it'll grow on me.” Taking another small sip, she glanced over at Jane, who was only halfway pretending not to listen. “Hey, Jane? Thanks for your help. I'm sorry we didn't buy anything. Maybe next time I can hit you up for that thing you recommended?”

Jane nodded and waved them off before returning to her work, organizing the shop’s clearance gem inventory. She muttered to herself, but Holly couldn’t make out the words.

Holly let Peter steer her toward the door. Right as they made it, something small flew past Holly’s ear and crashed against the door frame in front of them before falling to the floor. Puzzled, she nudged it with her foot, and noticed it was a small piece of obsidian. She turned to ask Peter if he'd pick it up for her—he wasn’t wrong, bending down for the next three months really was a pain in the ass—and suddenly she burst out laughing instead.

Peter was covering his face with one hand, and waving his coffee around with the other, yelling incoherently. At first, Holly couldn't tell what was going on, but it didn't take long for it to click.

The shopkeeper, Jane, was still safely behind the counter, but was launching several small rocks at Peter. And, with the exception of the first one, she had remarkably good aim.

 

Holly watched the door slam behind him, still a little in shock. Small stones littered the floor around her, and she was more than a little surprised nothing in the shop had broken. Before she could decide if she should follow him or not, (the latter was far more preferable, but would result in her not having a way home) Jane had made her way to the door, doubled over in laughter.

“Oh my god. So you know what I said about ‘fuck you’ being more satisfying?”

“Yes?”

Jane paused, hands on her knees, and looked up at Holly with sparkling eyes. “I lied. That was _awesome.”_

After catching her breath, she locked the shop door, and knelt on the ground to gather the scattered crystals.

“Would you like some of these? I mean, they were on clearance anyway.. and they worked so well on fixing your jerkwad problem, I think I'd feel bad not sending them with you.”

Holly nodded, not fully trusting her voice and really not wanting to cry in front of this stranger. Stupid hormones.

The other woman smiled and started gathering the rocks. “Perfect. That's a relief. Now... why don't you go get yourself whatever actual coffee drink you wanted- it's on me. After that, we’ll see what we can do about getting you to the doctor, okay?”

Holly exhaled, relieved for once, that someone had made her decision for her. She started to head to the coffee counter, but something still puzzled her.

“How did you know I had an appointment?”

Still kneeling, the woman wiggled her eyebrows. “ _Magic._ I mean, what else?”


End file.
